“Why do I keep doing this?” It’s a question I hear constantly in my office. The woman puzzled by her anxiety despite her stable life. The man who can’t explain his anger. The parent repeating patterns they swore to break.

“It Didn’t Start with You” illuminates what I’ve seen throughout my career—that our bodies carry stories that began before us. The book’s practical exercises help identify and release these inherited patterns that play like background music in our lives. I’ve sat with clients as they discovered how their unexplainable fears connect to grandparents’ wartime experiences, or how their relationship patterns echo family secrets. These moments of recognition create the space for something new to emerge. Something chosen, not inherited.